YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize