My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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