I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
