I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
