just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
