Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
