k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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