I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
