My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
