I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
