remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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