I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
