My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
