He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
