is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
