do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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