he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
