When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize