If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish you could order shots online.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I AM VODKA MAN
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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