Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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