I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
