I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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