Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
