I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
