i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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