I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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