Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize