"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
