Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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