Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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