The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
