she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
