Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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