So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
