Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
