I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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