not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
