Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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