I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
