Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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