her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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