We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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