I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
