i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
