I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize