I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
