Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
