No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He did a backflip because drugs
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
