a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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