you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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