you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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