my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
God, I missed his penis.
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