you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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