He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.