don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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