I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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