We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
