Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
