Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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