Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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