Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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