Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
