I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"