It's Friday. Sex?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.