How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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